You know, I’ve been ruminating a bit about all of our vulnerabilities or as some have a wont to say: The dark side of human nature. We all have it and we always will. There are some who protest that you shouldn’t share about these unseemly parts of our being. And there are others who never seem to get enough of spilling their guts about the stuff they’ve done. Jeez! Stop! Please! I’ve had enough.
There is a certain amount of strength, though, in the person who realizes the darkness and speaks softly of it to those who he or she trusts the confidence being offered. Such times produce an overwhelming desire to be courageous. Don’t know why that’s true but it is. You can take that to the bank. That is why I share from time to time some of my vulnerabilities here in this offering of letters formed into words that convey thoughts. Such a joy.
I don’t do this because I am depressed, scared or confused. I do it because I am not depressed, scared or confused. I do it because a light always shines when the darkness is illuminated. Make no mistake about it.
Now as you all know, I’ve been criticized for exposing some my darkness, especially historically, as well as some of my sadness. I say in response to that criticism: Nonsense! Ironically, some of the criticism has come from individuals with age and position. I actually find that somewhat amusing. Maturity oftentimes is well-hidden.
Some have even questioned my sanity, which is fine because I question it every day. I have known for a long time that accepting the entire being is essential. No, I am not a shrink, thank God. I do know that people need to be able to share their darkest troubles, secrets, wherever they can. That is a strength not a weakness. Absolutely.
Also, we must never forget that by talking about your own vulnerabilities, you offer hope to those who are to scared to do so. They think they’re the only ones. That nobody would understand and worse, they would be condemned by others for even thinking such dark thoughts. Poppycock, I say! I really do.
Please listen carefully: I know things. That’s right. Yes, some things more so than others, but I know things. And one thing I know for sure is human nature and all its foibles. I’ve seen it. Heard it. Lived it. There is nothing anybody has thought, dreamed or actually done that is beyond my comprehension. Even the most heinous of crimes have echoed through my head. I take no action – ever. But do I have thoughts. Your damn right!
Bob Dylan once wrote in a song: “If my thought-dreams could be seen they’d probably put my head in a guillotine.” Amen to that.
Now, you might be shaking your head and wondering what does this have to do with the price of milk? Everything. For herein lies the rub: Our secrets kill us. And just the opposite is true: The truth shall set you free, as my religious friends have said to me down through the years.
Darkness is not to be feared for it is just another way to the light. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not an oncoming train.